The Project - Day 16

Oh no, no, I do not want to write, oh no, no, I do not want to write! That’s to the tune of They Might Be Giants smash kids hit “I Never Go To Work”. I’m tired, I’m crabby and I can’t remember what I was going to write about.

Part of my crabbiness can be attributed to the amount of reading I’ve been doing this evening on the subject of English education. That would be education on the subject of the English language and literature, not studies on education in the country of England. I am sure there is worthwhile information here, however I’m starting to think educators are nearly as bad as lawyers when it comes to inventing new verbiage. Apparently, writing about writing requires repurposing half the language just to describe how you will study it.

I hate words like repurposing.

It’s just one of those nights when a sleeping pill might have to happen. I have a sharp pain in my abdomen and instead of taking a tylenol like a normal person, I keep pressing my gut wondering if it’s cancer. Hypochondria is not my usual gig, but when I am tired and stressed, I’ll work any angle just to keep the drama flowing. Child missing bedtime? I am a horrible mother and he’ll be scarred by a lack of appropriate bedtime habits, of course. Still no word on any of my most recent job applications? I will be on the street by fall, forced to move in with my parents. Don’t stop me now, I’m on a roll!

This is what it feels like to have to write when you don’t want to write. It is like trying on everything in your closet and it doesn’t fit or makes you look fat and you end up with a bed covered in clothes that now have to be put away and you realize the one possible thing you could have worn is in the bottom of the hamper with a big stain. It is like the time in college when a friend and I wanted to make strawberry margaritas, but we had no fresh berries, no tequila and no blender so we tried to smash frozen berries with  a hammer and mix them with peppermint schnapps. (Don’t try that, by the way, it’s disgusting.)

Okay, I’m out. That’s all I can fake for tonight.