The Project - Day 17

I really wish I had more energy. I feel like I am always tired, but I never can sleep. I know I have to be up early in the morning, but I’ve postponed writing this because I knew I’d be sitting up late, wondering why I can’t sleep. I’ve never settled well at night (Please reference story a few days back about infant phenobarb) and I have a lifetime of memories that toss and turn. When I was a kid I used to imagine myself as the little match girl or Cinderella, sleeping in some desperately cold place, all alone and then as I pulled the covers up over me, letting myself feel so grateful for this rag of warmth while I slept in the street. I have no idea why this helped me sleep, maybe imagining a less hospitable scenario helped me to appreciate what I had, I don’t know. Maybe I was just a drama queen.

Whatever the reason, to this day I prefer to be cold, which is somewhat problematic given our relocation to Florida. My reasoning is that you can always get warmer by putting on more clothes, covers, what have you, but there is an absolute limit to what you can remove in order to cool down. Unless of course you are a little match girl who freezes to death on the street. But for most normal existence, cold just requires some flannel jammies and an extra blanket or two.  I have actually slept with a cold compress on my head in extreme heat, but it isn’t quite the same thing.

I think I had a point when I started this but I seem to have lost it. Unfortunate. Looks like it is another day short of a page.