The Project - Day 5

I am writing much too late now as my husband kept me up looking up new car information. Since I have an obsessive personality, my mind is now racing on the subject of curtain side airbags, warranties and the relative merits of various braking systems. My husband, as usual, stirs the pot, then snores away.

It should be made clear that in no way are we in any position to buy a new car at the moment. However, if the planets align and the heavens open, the circumstances might arise where a car could come into our possession. I’m not holding my breath. They say don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but I intend a full molar inspection should this come about.

We could really use a second car, but only if it comes down from on high from a good fairy. Or at least an occasionally cranky but benevolent fairy. And the fairy has requested we submit our proposals in writing, or at least in internet links. So, off to the online shopping tools I go, boldly pressing “build my car” as though a phalanx of elves are standing by, prepared to go into action depending on what buttons I push. It’s fun. But I remember from the last time we went through this process (with our own money) it quickly descends into the polar opposite of fun.

Buying a car has to be one of the few accurate predictors of hell here on earth. I can only imagine it is worse now, given the state of the economy and the car industry. I find myself wondering whether my entrails will be eaten live before me or if the dealer will merely offer to take my firstborn in trade for the extra undercarriage coating package. I know internet pricing takes some of the edge off the hardships of negotiation, but the extra burden of car shopping with my husband negates that advantage and then some.

In simple terms, my husband feels guilt about car shopping. This might be one of those Jewish things that I don’t fully understand, but based on further observation, this might be a phenomenon unique to my spouse. When we were car shopping the last time it took considerable force on my part to convince my husband that just because the nice Mazda dealer allowed us to drive their pretty car, twice, did not mean that we “owed” him. Or perhaps that we owed him a polite thank you or maybe a handy ballpoint pen, but not a down payment on a car.

We’ve established that this time around I will do all the advance work, research and initial test driving, narrowing down to 1-2 options which he will then peruse, test drive and quickly decide on a purchase. My gender may predispose me to bad deals in the showroom but the reality is, I’m a much better bitch and I have no problem saying “no” to a salesman. However, I’m still thinking about how we can ease my other half through the final process of test drive and comparison without thinking he has to pick out china with the sales person.

I’m thinking maybe a small gift is in order? If DH thinks that the salesman is owed for his time, this time I’m bringing a case of Twinkies.  A twinkie per test drive, does that sound right? Or should I go the cupcake route