Seriously??? After this day I’ve had, I think I’m going to casually write a page of some sort of mental exhalation? This is where the “project” starts to suck. I am so tired, part of the result of taking what is usually my day with my son and turning it into short playdate with son and friend, errands, teach, shop for cars (no, not kidding), a little cleaning and a rehearsal that ran overtime capped by a 3 year old who thinks staying up until mom gets home at 10 is just a-ok. While a whole day with the boy is no doubt exhausting, it is usually just one thing and the fun from being with him makes up for the crazy and the tired. Car salesmen are hardly a worthwhile substitute for my little dude.
At least he had a good day at preschool while I dragged my tail all over creation. I know that what I do is important, that we need the money from my teaching, that I’m able to do things my husband can’t while he’s at work that will help our family, etc. Still, some part of me wishes for that time when I could just be home with my boy all day and plan out our activities, following our own little routine. I need to remember that made me nuts after a while and that I need my own work, financially and emotionally. It just seems like there ought to be a balance between being supermom all the time and frantically scrambling for work, always feeling sub-par on the home front.
Damn, that was original. Not.
See, I’m exhausted and even so, my mental judges are so alive and kicking that they can kick me when I’m down. Or that would be me, kicking myself when I’m down? I suppose on some level that’s impressive.
(this is where I fell asleep with my face on my computer last night. I think we’ll have to call this one “good enough”.)
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