The Project - Day 6

I don’t want to make this project too mommy-centric as part of the point is to explore other things, however it’s been a damn good day in mommy land.

My son has been using the potty on and off for over a year and I can honestly say I never thought I could be so emotionally invested in another person’s bodily functions. We chose the “he’ll do it when he’s ready” approach, subscribing to the philosophy that toilet training is a personal victory and important milestone towards independence. I envisioned a grand “Potty Party” when we would definitively know that he was “done” and a celebratory bonfire disposing of the last of the pull ups. Of course the reality has been an endless dance on that line between pressure and encouragement--the first true test of parenting a child with a will of their own, I think.

This is one of those things an adult child cannot even comprehend. I try to think of my mother obsessing over whether or not I had a BM that day and my mind reels. Perhaps this is why parents can never really let go. If at one point a large portion of your day is consumed with another person’s bowel and bladder voiding, I imagine it is difficult to say, hand that person car keys or send them off to college. Surely he’ll still need me to read him stories on the potty?

Even when he was a baby, I obsessed over his diapers, ready to call the pediatrician to make sure all the proper output was in evidence. I continually rebalanced his diet with fruits, vegetables and dairy to improve “regularity”. I remember writing a website entry when we once had five spectacular poopy diapers in one day. It was part disbelief, part amused wonderment at the continual surprises of motherhood. My son’s poopy diaper has been the last vestige of his babyhood, the one thing I must do to care for him that he cannot do for himself.

And now that is coming to an end. Now that he can take himself to the potty and knows what to do, I’ve been demoted to minor and occasional assistant and will soon be shut out completely, I am sure. Already he is understanding “privacy” and I’m sure his days of wanting mommy to sit with him and read while he does his business will soon be over. I can only imagine the level of horror he will feel at 16, should he ever come across his mother’s scribblings about wiping his bum and his infant constipation. That is as it should be, of course.

I’m sure we’ll welcome the money spent on diapers back to our general budget and I am  so proud of my son for taking this enormous step towards his independence. On the other hand, this is just one of many major steps away from his mommy. I can perhaps be forgiven for having a brief urge to put that diaper back on him.